By guest writer Mamello Masote
The first ever Glam Camp was hosted by Brutal Fruit this past weekend and it certainly was memorable.

Bonang 'Queen B' Matheba with fans. Love the neckpiece!
I imagine it would be the kind of thing that Tyra Banks would happily endorse. It was all about feeling good, from the inside out, and all about empowering women.
As with any event, there were parts that were great, some parts not so great and some parts that probably sounded great on paper but didn’t play out as planned.
For instance, the free manicures were a great idea, but the ratio of free manicurists to girls was slightly off. Not only was there a constant crowd to contend with to get your nails done, but there weren’t enough nail tips for everyone and many girls were very disappointed.
But, on the bright side, the shoulder, hand and foot massages were awesome, and there was no limit to the amount of times you could go, as long as you were patient.
The highlight of my day though was Bonang Matheba’s dramatic entrance in a helicopter….Queen B sure knows how to excite a crowd. Very Kourtney and Kim Take New York of her.

Bonang made a grand entrance. We were impressed!
Most of the workshops were great, practical and the speakers were engaging and sounded as though they had put a lot of thought in the messages they were trying to convey.
The only workshop I found a bit dodgy was with Come Dine With Me’s Aubrey Ngcungama. He was supposed to give the girls tips on how to host the perfect dinner party.
He made a ‘brutal fruit salad’ topped with whipped cream and a strawberry to garnish, a lot less impressive than his appearance on the food show. I hope it was just nerves because if anyone served that at a dinner party, it would be the last time they see me.
Workshops that stood out for me were the ones hosted by life coach Kate Emmerson who got real about relationships and self-esteem as well as a money workshop hosted by journalist Maya Fischer-French who reminded girls that a man is not a financial plan!
All in all, a great concept that was reasonably executed. Can’t wait for next year!

That guy from Top Billing who is not Janez... What's his name? Adrian, we think. Gorgeous.
Spotted: Former Big Brother Africa Lerato Sengadi, who hid behind her shades as well as winner of Fairlady’s reality show Style Intern (yeah, I watched that show), Sunshine.

Musa leads the off-key singing at dinner. We're not sure what Miza is using the cutlery for
Isn’t it amazing how quickly they grow? YoTV’s presenter Akhumzi Jezile hosted his celebrity friends -and The Social, among select media- to a weekend away at Sun City in the North West, this past weekend- something that’s becoming a norm in the industry.

Birthday boy Akhumzi during an interview with Vuzu.Tv
Close pals including Musa Mthombeni, Samkelo Ndlovu, DJs Nutty Nys and Miza, Boity Thulo, former Generations actress Kagiso Rakosa, Selimathunzi presenter Lunga Shabalala and even current Miss SA Teen Celeste Khumalo all arrived on Friday afternoon and only began preparing to leave the resort on Sunday afternoon.

Nutty Nys had a little more fun than his expression suggests
All manner of misbehaviour ensued, but poor ol’ Akhumzi still has a little longer with the popular Sabc 1 programme, so we won’t reveal too many details about what was said or consumed during the entire weekend.

The innocent-looking Lunga sat next to the sweet Celeste. Would they be cute together? We're not starting rumours!
We’re certain Mzansi Magic’s Headline -yes Trevor Gumbi and the roving camera and mic was also there-, Vuzu or Selimathunzi will air some of the funny footage.

After terrorising all and sundry, Trevor Gumbi eventually managed a smile at dinner
We will say this though; even though The Social had fun, we were rather disappointed there was no cake!

The naughty Samkelo Ndlovu flirting with us
Happy Birthday, dude!

These two weren't shy to poke fun at each others abdominal girths

Nonhle Thema. PICTURE: Vuzu tv
Sunday is the day when people relax and listen to jazz/ old-school R&B, kick up their feet and blah blah. None of that for some of us.
Our Sundays excite us because they mean we get to read the greatest gossip rag in SA, Sunday World (although Heat comes pretty close). They never disappoint when it comes to salacious tidbits. And was this Sunday’s front page salacious…
Nonhle Thema allegedly, supposedly, apparently had a “raunchy sex orgy” with four other people at her Jozi north home. Oh. My. Word. The people in question were Morale (the same rapper she had a recent Twitter catfight with – more on that later), Bongz (Bongani Fassie), Lagosh, and Khanya Sithebe, whom Nonhle had hired to promote Precious Ivy, her fragrance.
So anyway, according to the Sunday World, who, in true tabloid fashion quote someone “privy to the events of the night”, the three men met the two women at an event Nonhle was having to promote her perfume. Next thing she invited them home and well, lots of romping ensued. And here I was thinking orgies only happened in porno flicks.
What was interesting about all of this was the fact that Morale and Nonhle had a little Twar not so long ago, followed by Morale releasing a track for her called “Hoey Ghost” (she referred to herself as Jesus on Twitter, so Morale was being “clever” about it). In an interview with Just Curious, he said that he and Nonhle had some nookie over the holidays and he even provided screen grabs of some of his BBMs with the Crazy One… Oh wow… Okay then.
We admit, we too are kind of sick of Nonhle stories, but sometimes we can’t help but drool at the scandalous, attention-seeking shenanigans. It’s what some call schadenfreude: pleasure derived from watching others suffer. Or in this case, fall apart. On Twitter, anyway.
Yes, it’s been a long while since I’ve tattled with you all. So sorry.
But I’m here now, so, let’s get to it.
If you have nothing to do with this weekend, it can’t be because you’re broke (pay day was a week ago). Whatever your reasons for planning on staying at home this weekend, I can give you more reasons not to. Here’s what’s up in the next few days:
First of all, there’s Jozifest. I mean, sure, the name’s not as cool as Download Festival or Ozzfest, but it’s distinctly local and so Joburg. It’s a music festival that will have artists such as 340ml, Lark, Fokofpolisiekar and Tidal Waves (among so many others!). Die Antwoord was meant to perform but they had to pull out cos they got an invite to be on a BIG late-night show in the States…. Anyway, Jozifest takes place on 3, 4 and 5 February. Click here for more information.
If festivals aren’t your thing, you might be interested in a fashion show that takes place at a two-floor restaurant. Yes. Fashion show. At a restaurant. The event is called Live-Style, and it takes place on 4 February at Shikisha in Newtown. Soweto rockers Reeburth will be playing (their singer has a really nice body *drool*), along with DJs Gimmick and Rodney. The fashion will be provided by Livestock Cottonwear, who are based in Pimville. The food and drinks will be provided by Shikisha (I did say it’s a restaurant) but not free of charge, obviously. So, whether you want to dine, drool, enjoy the tunes or the scenery, Live-Style is a must. Read more about it here.
If none of that interests you, legendary German DJ/ producer Paul van Dyk is playing in the country tonight. He plays two shows in one day: Durban at 4pm and Joburg at 8pm. Tickets are R250 – R430. Read more here.
Don’t say I don’t care about you.
Till later.

J&B Met, Mad Hatter style. Picture: Esa Alexander
It’s about that time again. When even the attention-seekers dress like Lady Gaga and the stylish only dress with a touch more flamboyance. When spotlight-lovers prance about in front of flashing lights like peacocks at a fashion show.
Oh, and the horse races, too.
Yes, the J&B Met is coming up soon and boy, are we excited. Of course we’ll be there, dressed up and ready to bring you all the titillating bits about it.
28 January, loves. Circle the date. The theme this year is “Made Different” (ahem, “born this weird”). It should be great.
Fire us if we don’t come back with entertaining stories and great pics!
Our golden girl of athletics, she who was embroiled in a nasty scandal over her gender and had politicians using her to score points with the public, Caster Semenya, turned 21 recently.
For some reason I wasn’t invited, but thanks to Sunday World, I got to see the pictures. That’s a lot of purple, Caster!

Caster prefers a more tomboyish approach to dressing. Photographer: Elijar Mushiana

Caster and her (we can assume very close) friend, whose name is said to be Asleigh (typo?) Trotter from Botswana. Mzwakhe Mbuli looks horrified. Photographer: Elijar Mushiana
So from this we can deduce the following: Caster likes the colour purple. A lot. Caster’s party dress code was purple, shiny, wedding-like clothing. Caster is tight with a blonde from Botswana (check how they’re eyeing each other. I love my generation, we’re free to love whomever we want. Thank you, freedom fighters!).
Mzwakhe Mbuli – “the people’s poet” – was also there. Um, I understand Caster’s parents being there, but what was such an old guy doing at a party full of young people? Or is he scouting for a side chick?
For the whole slideshow of Caster’s very purple birthday party, check out the Sunday World’s website.

The story in the Sunday World that has angered the "Sushi King"
I love gossip rags. I thought I’d make that clear. They’re trashy, dramatic, fun and cheeky as hell. Basically, they’re just like me.
One thing that tabloids are constantly accused of is, to put it nicely (and Biblically, if that’s a word), spreading falsehoods. ‘Lies, lies, lies!’ yell the accused celebrities (A-grade, F-grade: what’s the diff? If you’ve been in the paper once or been an extra on Generations, you now qualify as some sort of famous, celebrated person).
But one guy who is a celebrity (simply because he throws good parties) is Kenny Kunene. I mean, the man’s not richer than Patrice Motsepe or Cyril Ramaphosa (does Mr Cyril have a son I can marry? I’m thinking one-carat white-gold Cartier engagement ring). But Kenny is, dare I say it, “controversial”. Why? Because tabloids said so.
Anyway, the man appears in papers A LOT. I guess he wouldn’t be gracing their pages if he wasn’t a big seller, right? So he was in the Sunday World this week, in an OTT story about how his wife Mathato is divorcing him cos she’s tired of his philandering, his adultery, his fornication, his sex life that doesn’t include her. Tog.
Kenny, as much as he LOVES publicity (he has a reality show, don’t forget), was not impressed. So unimpressed was he, he took to his blog to get a few things off his sushi-eating, Porsche-driving chest and to set some things straight.
In a nutshell, he yelled: “Lies!” and then went on to threaten to take Sunday World to court unless they print a front-page, bold-as-gold retraction in next week’s paper. No one “f***s” with his family, he says. Oooh la la!
Let’s wait and see, shall we. Will Sunday World quiver in their boots and take things back? Or will King Kenny whisk them off to court (he’s been there before, obviously, being a former prisoner and all), and will it play out like the episode in Pink Floyd’s The Trial? Will the tabloid be hanged by its nuts or will Kenny be too busy partying to remember that he was going to take them to court?
D-R-A-M-A, drama!
No one goes to the cinema to check out cool fashion. I mean, it’s dark and the floor is littered with popcorn (I will never understand why people eat it – it serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever, in my opinion).
I could swear that some people, though, go to the cinema for the sole purpose of making out and texting. And laughing much too loudly.
But this weekend, a movie house will be used for a more enlightening purpose than watching car chases, explosions and boobs beneath a sheer nightgown. The Ster Kinekor at the Zone in Rosebank will play host to a fashion show. That’s right, lovelies – clothes, a runway and leggy models in a cinema. Enticing.
Hosted by Studio 05 School of Fashion, the event will showcase the works of its students and is part of their graduation process. I don’t know about you, but my graduation featured people dressed like office workers with nasty black gowns draped over them. Yuck.
The Studio 05 show is in collaboration with ELLE magazine (joy!), MTV Base and Woolworths, amongst others.
Why not hit the movies on Saturday for a live show? I’m game. I hear even the Real Goboza crew will be there (“Look mom, I’m on TV!”)
Tickets are R100 and are available from Studio 05. Check them out on Facebook or visit their website for more info.
In case you didn’t know, Spanish fashion brand Zara just opened their first South African store, launching it last night. The store is housed in the new extension of (the already sizeable) Sandton City, which was so stunning we thought we’d been teleported to a mall in Dubai without knowing it!
Angels sang and danced as we walked towards the doors of the fashion brand we only know from international fashion mags. At the launch we spotted the fashion teams from ELLE and CLEO magazines, R&B singer LeeAnne and style blogger Mili Bongela. The crowd, was, as would be expected, fashionable and cool.
The Zara store is huge and is one of the biggest in the world. It’s 2700 square metres of clothes, bags, shoes, scarves and hats. 2700 square metres of bliss.
Hot trends we spotted were preppy tailored blazers and jackets (which we loved), loose-fitting tops (very Stella McCartney), tailored pants, colour blocking (even on the platform heels!), nauticals (Queen Mother Coco Chanel would be impressed), early 60s-style dresses (very Jackie O – let’s channel our inner First Ladies) and hot pants (won’t be donning those any day soon). The guys’ clothes were very Ben Sherman (you know, preppy, cool, hipster, very London), and the suits were lovely (if you can’t afford a Tom Ford suit, Zara has you covered).
As for the prices, they’re middling, with the average price of a blazer being about R600. It’s not Chanel or Prada or even Black Coffee, but it’s not exactly Mr Price. Look, Sandton City never pretended to be about the masses in SA. It’s more for the up-and-coming and the ‘made-its’.
We get the feeling that they will get carried away shopping at Zara.
Here’s to fashion!
**correction: the glamp takes place in February 2012, with the launch in November 2011. I never claimed to be able to read well…
I don’t think anyone would associate the word “glamour” with “camping”. I can’t even fathom associating the word “fun” with anything camping-related.
But Brutal Fruit, the juice disguised as alcohol, claims that THEY can bring not only the fun, but the glam to camping. They call it glamping (I love good portmanteau words). Apparently “glamping” has taken off in Europe (so has the debt crisis, so that means nothing) and now it’s being brought to South Africa.
The camp, which will be held for 2 100 ladies at the end of November, is aimed at women aged between 18 and 30.
In a press release, Brutal Fruit says there will be “a host of workshops full of hints & tips. Expert guest speakers will cover areas such as Lifestyle, Spirit, Beauty and Body in glam detail.”
So I guess that doesn’t mean I’m going to be climbing trees in my Miu Miu pumps (I actually don’t own a pair, but I dream about them. Every. Night.).
For more info on the glamp, click here.
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