I love gossip rags. I thought I’d make that clear. They’re trashy, dramatic, fun and cheeky as hell. Basically, they’re just like me.
One thing that tabloids are constantly accused of is, to put it nicely (and Biblically, if that’s a word), spreading falsehoods. ‘Lies, lies, lies!’ yell the accused celebrities (A-grade, F-grade: what’s the diff? If you’ve been in the paper once or been an extra on Generations, you now qualify as some sort of famous, celebrated person).
But one guy who is a celebrity (simply because he throws good parties) is Kenny Kunene. I mean, the man’s not richer than Patrice Motsepe or Cyril Ramaphosa (does Mr Cyril have a son I can marry? I’m thinking one-carat white-gold Cartier engagement ring). But Kenny is, dare I say it, “controversial”. Why? Because tabloids said so.
Anyway, the man appears in papers A LOT. I guess he wouldn’t be gracing their pages if he wasn’t a big seller, right? So he was in the Sunday World this week, in an OTT story about how his wife Mathato is divorcing him cos she’s tired of his philandering, his adultery, his fornication, his sex life that doesn’t include her. Tog.
Kenny, as much as he LOVES publicity (he has a reality show, don’t forget), was not impressed. So unimpressed was he, he took to his blog to get a few things off his sushi-eating, Porsche-driving chest and to set some things straight.
In a nutshell, he yelled: “Lies!” and then went on to threaten to take Sunday World to court unless they print a front-page, bold-as-gold retraction in next week’s paper. No one “f***s” with his family, he says. Oooh la la!
Let’s wait and see, shall we. Will Sunday World quiver in their boots and take things back? Or will King Kenny whisk them off to court (he’s been there before, obviously, being a former prisoner and all), and will it play out like the episode in Pink Floyd’s The Trial? Will the tabloid be hanged by its nuts or will Kenny be too busy partying to remember that he was going to take them to court?
What’s with all these haters diss’ing Kenny?! Just because he might have ripped off a few poor people for personal benefit. A man’s got to eat (sushi) after all right?