Archive for October, 2011

On Juju and his purple suit…

By Fifi | 31 October 2011

Say what you will, but Julius knows how to dress for the occasion…

Julius Malema as Louis XIV

Julius Malema as Louis XIV

As most of us know, on Thursday/ Friday the ANC Youth League and lots of other people embarked on the Long Walk to Economic Freedom (or a practise run of the Comrades Marathon, as some would say… pun intended).

For that event, Julius ‘Juju’ Malema busted out his Freedom Fighter outfit: beret, revolutionary T-shirt (I myself don an Idi Amin tee when I’m feeling rather sociopolitical), cargos, boots. I was impressed. It wasn’t the first time Juju had gone all out in his Che Guevara/ MK vet kit. He’d worn it previously on the first day of his disciplinary hearing a few months back.

He was at war with the Mother Party at the time, and last week he was at war with the Capitalists. He had to wear something fitting (rather tightly, might I add).

Almost immediately after helping a few thousand youths make their demands heard to The Man, Juju then jetted off to sunny Mauritius, to party with the, er, Capitalists. But surely you didn’t expect him to wear his beret and boots, did you? How inappropriate would that have been?

The man had to keep in the theme of gaudiness and Capitalism. So, he showed up dressed like a pimp. All he needed was a pimp stick and a pimp cup. Like a true fashionista, Julius HAD to stand out.

I’m sure that purple suit, ugly as it was, cost the price of a second-hand car. So, if you’re a pedestrian, don’t hate. Julius could have bought you a car if he wanted. He just chose to get a purple suit instead. Here’s hoping he didn’t out-dress the bride. That would have been downright nasty.

Is Lindsay Lohan really that broke?

By Fifi | 25 October 2011
Lindsay is becoming a playmate... Image by: Getty

Lindsay is becoming a playmate... Image by: Getty

Rumour is that Lindsay Lohan, Tinseltown’s resident wild child, is taking on a new role: Playboy Playmate.

This would make perfect sense since the “recovered” addict is allegedly going for broke, despite once commanding about $7 million per film. But that was back when she WAS in films. Nowadays the actress can’t even land a supporting role in a television advert, apparently.

Gossip encylopaedia TMZ reports that LiLo (as she’s often called by the gossips) posed for the Hef’s mag this weekend and was paid about $1 million. Not bad for a (not-so-former) jailbird. Just last week the girl left court in handcuffs at her probation hearing after the judge revoked her probation which she’d violated.

At least she had a nice dress on. Even Joan Rivers thought so.

But while she’s keeping her clothes off, maybe Lindsay should consider becoming a permanent fixture in Hef’s life – as his newest girlfriend, perhaps? She could even have a reality show while she’s at it: ‘Lindsay of the Playboy Mansion’. I guess she would be indulging in another kind of blow.

Oh no, I didn’t just say that. Curse my filthy mouth.

Khanyi Mbau wants YOU to party with her

By Fifi | 13 October 2011

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Gather around children, schlebs, wannabes, groupies and party kids. Khanyi Mbau has quite the opportunity for you, dear kiddies. She wants you, yes little ol’ you, in fact all of you, to come to her birthday party at SET in Rosebank, Jozi, TONIGHT.

Don’t believe us? Click on the video link below…
Khanyi Mbau’s Vid Invite

Unlike her last b-day party, where people apparently had to pay to enter, this time Ms Mbau is offering her fabulous party experience free of charge. Mahala. Gratis. Apparently, allegedly, supposedly.

There is a catch, of course: come dressed in your Sunday best. Well, Saturday night blinging party babe best, anyway. You get what we mean.

So, if you have nothing to do later… There’s always Khanyi Mbau’s birthday party. So very gracious, she is.

And we’re sorry for the last minute invite – better late than never, no?

Taboo party vs AKA album launch

By Fifi | 10 October 2011

Taboo held its eighth birthday party on Saturday night and my friend and I were so excited and dressed to the nines (I mean she had on killer heels that you couldn’t even walk in, she meant serious business); but the night was disappointing.

Their attempts at a ‘fabulous’ party included ‘free’ glasses of Patron tequila (with the boredom we endured, trust me we paid for that free booze), wanna-be celebs (a bunch of kids’ TV presenters and former kids’ TV presenters) as well as a dodgy performance from Louise Carver (I love the lady, but Saturday night she was just not rocking it).

Taboo tried to entice us with a performance later in the night from Pixie Bennett (all I know abut her is that she was one of the top ten idols on THAT scandalous Idols season where they had two winners) and all I could think was: really Taboo, really?

The only real celebs who were there included socialite Uyanda Mbuli, and she was there for such a short time I felt like I had imagined her appearance, and Jennifer Su, but she too was gone in matter of minutes.

Now, I’m not saying that celebs are the only thing that matter at such a party, but the music sucked: it had yawn-like tendencies and that’s never a good thing; and the snacks that were circulating: not tasty at all. The vibe was not great and my friend and I actually found the tweets from the Coldplay concert a lot more entertaining than the party. And tweetland proved to be our saving grace because we were reminded that AKA was launching his album down the road at Icon. So, we decided to ditch Taboo, and head over to Icon: and it was the best decision that we made that night.

So on to better things we went…

After attending the AKA launch at Icon on Saturday I have come to the conclusion that the boy has some serious fans. I mean the kind of fans who know every word and beat of the song and there was one guy who was sweating so much from rapping along with AKA you would have sworn he was the one performing.

And the girls were not shy in shaking their booties like they had watched way too many Beyonce videos and were now auditioning for Laurie-Ann Gibson (if you don’t know her, she’s a super choreographer with her own E! entertainment reality show) and to steal one of her signature phrases: those girls were ‘going full out till their knuckles bled’. My friend and I felt seriously out of place with our elementary hip-hop moves and not belonging to a dance crew.

The crowd was pumped up, the music was hot and the atmosphere was incredible. And this party did have a few celebs that were worth noting: AKA was there, obviously, looking scrumptious, Bongani Fassie made an appearance, one of the Twinz also came through (not sure which one), Thapelo Mokoena (he’s now known as the ‘china’ in the Hunter’s ad, but I’ll never forget his performance as Karabo’s bodyguard on Generations) was also there in a beige hat that really just looked awkward and very short twitter celebrity Khaya Dlanga also dropped in.

All in all: a pretty great time.

Johnny Depp says something stupid

By Fifi | 6 October 2011

The talented (and visually-appealling) Mr Johnny Depp, who stopped ageing at 30, is in a bit of trouble…

And no, he hasn’t been getting kicked out of hotels and attacking photographers like back in his wild-child days. No, no. Johnny Depp said in an interview with Vanity Fair, for their November issue, that being in a photo shoot is like being raped.

That’s right. He compared posing for photos to being violated sexually. For such a smart man, Johnny was sure being insensitive and dumb.

He’s not the first celebrity to make this blunder – Twilight actress Kristen Stewart made a similar comment in 2010 when talking about being stalked by the paparazzi. And while we imagine that being hounded by photographers and posing for a camera when you don’t want to can’t be much fun, we’re pretty sure that to compare such to rape is just being ridiculous.

Celebrities and their non-problems. Their publicists must train them to bite their tongues at times, because some people have real problems.

Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett duet: vid

By Fifi | 4 October 2011

So, Lady Gaga (aka Mother Monster aka Stefani Angelina Germanotta aka J0e Calderone) recorded a duet with legendary crooner Tony Bennett recently. We can’t say what shocked us more – Lady Gaga putting her pipes to use on a big-band/ jazz standard or the fact that Tony Bennett, at 85, knows who Lady Gaga is. But then again, unborn babies probably already know who Lady Gaga is.

But we digress.

The Gaga and Bennett duet is that of the Frank Sinatra number The Lady is a Tramp, which appears on Bennett’s latest album Duets II. We suppose it’s good that Bennett and Gaga are “bridging the generation gap”. Or perhaps the old man’s going through a later-life crisis.

Either way, check out the video below.