It’s not often that WOSA ask my opinion about anything. Heck, I’m not even invited to this month’s Groendas Sokkie (green tie party) like many of my colleagues. So OK I only write for the Sunday Times occasionally, which has nowhere near the reach of the Bolander. But then, this afternoon, my blind tasting of R42,500 worth of Stellenbosch wine for our upcoming Winelands Guide 2013 was interrupted by a tweet from Su Birch, highly paid head of WOSA. “Checking out offices for WOSA as we have to move… what image do we want? Cutting edge modern or Dorp Street Cape Dutch? Your views?”
Well for starters, WOSA are already hideously overpaying for their Dorp Street Dive to the tune of R473,586 a year or R40,000 a month. An outrageous extravagance in an industry facing the biggest financial challenges in its existence. WOSA have already pencilled in increased salaries of over 12% (from R4.188 million to R4.7 million) in their budget and now Su is asking whether Dorp Street drop-dead opulence should be continued or “cutting edge modern” should be embraced. Offices for overpaid fat cats giving dodgy interviews about unemployment on local bottling lines due to booming bulk exports. You can’t invent this material!
Meanwhile the Winelands is awash with unused capacity and there are deals aplenty to be had. Time for a bold move by WOSA to demonstrate solidarity with their constituency. Something like a short term rental of the vacant offices of the Eersterivier Cellar of Cowpee that would demonstrate to the industry that for once WOSA are taking the financial calamity of their employers seriously and it was not just about parties, upgrades to first class and gravy train expense accounts. How about it, Su?
My dear Mr Pendock, frugality is good for one’s soul…Johnny and I used to love the outdoors, always comfortable under canvas, so why not a multi-section tent for the new WOSA HQ ? perfectly suited to those who might need to ‘fold up’ their operation at any moment.. see here: http://thatsthehookup.com/gear.....azing-new/
A tent won’t do Fanny. You can’t hang a map of Asia on the wall (to show where China is) or one of South America.
I suppose a globe might do.
Also, you can’t operate a braai safely inside one, the fumes would make you ill.
Oh no deary…. these days modern technology permits digitally printed canvas… besides which, you are forgetting one of camping’s joys… ‘washing up’ – that is when the handy Asian map printed tea towels could come into play… Johnny and I used to have one of the British Isles
Imagine rubbing your Riedels with the Yangtze and South China seas !
Furthermore, the ‘WOSA’s’ could keep tethered Llama’s… as a South American homage and sop for the greens.. i.e. self sufficiency, saving the planet etc… I would then foresee an opportunity for pairing S.A. wines with Llama burgers…. how do you feel about that Mary ?
Hey Fanny, count me in on this… I see an opportunity to create a TV reality show after the style of ‘The Osbornes’ – how about ‘The Wosas At Home’ – strapline “it’s life Jim but not as we know it”….
This is the type of theme tune I have in mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE
We could syndicate around the world and raise millions to subsidize those essential upgrades and freebies we all so desperately need… this might run and run
Oh you boys are as impractical as always. What about the smell from the toilets? or latrines as you oakes like to call them, and when it’s hot won’t the ladies (and some of the boys) make-up slide?