Right on cue for the start of blind tastings next month for the upcoming Pendock Guide to the Winelands 2013: wining, dining and accommodation comes the launch in the USA of Vinderpants: underpants for wine bottles to hide the family jewels. The US version comes in standard Jockey Whites, the kind British PM John Major famously wore outside his trousers.
We’ve approached a leading lingerie manufacturer in Wuhan for a quote on Vanderpants – Vinderpants made in the rainbow colours of the SA flag with nipple caps to hide the bottle neck. Made by a sweatshop employing rehabilitated ladyboys, we are applying for WIETA accreditation to WOSA – Wardrobe Of Su and Andre – who have budgeted R1.5 million this year for apparel. Cosatu-style T-shirts seen at last month’s London Wine Trade Fair were the first to roll off the catwalk and Vanderpants are destined to become an essential part of the wardrobe of the well-dressed SA winemaker, with dressing to the left or right a choice left to appellations.
FYI When he was Chief Secretary to the Treasury, John’s Y-fronts were purchased from Marks & Spencer and very amply proportioned…alas, I had no success in switching him to a thong – he said it was too much like dental floss and played havoc with his posture at the Despatch Box