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The manne of the Groot Gariep are woedend (pissed off). As Stromtrooper, a dyslexic member of 4x4community.co.za, posted yesterday, the bridge over the Orange at Kakamas is stukkend (broken, see below). It has been closed, necessitating a 41Km diversion on a bad gravel road for denizens of Keimoes to get to the Kalahari Sushi Bar.
Kakamas Krak
Michael Olivier’s lavish Crush! online lifestyle magazine seems to have stolen a march on other media in the run-up to Vindaba ”the country’s first specialist wine tourism exhibition” that is taking responsible drinking to the extreme by banning the public from tasting wine at Cape Wine 2012, which takes place in the same venue at the same time. Press and the trade are the lucky ones who get to taste the wines showcased at Vindaba. The public go thirsty.
Vindaba stands, shown below in a brochure sent to producers by WOSA, the exporters’ association, give pride of place to Crush!, although quite how many producers will fork out R25,080 for a 6m2 in a dry show, remains to be seen.
How cool it was to eat rare pan-fried hake, basil and tomato crushed potatoes, Parmesan velouté, mussel and saffron vinaigrette in the Pierneef à la Motte restaurant last night while listening to the secrets of Spain played on guitar by that George Clooney lookalike, James Grace. For this was no WINE magazine money-making opportunity with bizarre sponsor that pretty much defined the SA tasting scene for the last decade. No siree! This was the first event for Classic Wine magazine and publisher, Dominic Ntsele dropped more bombshells in his witty address than an Apache helicopter piloted by Prince Harry. Here he is being painted by Jacobus Hendrik Pierneef.
Ever wonder what happened to Bruno/Borat after he rubbed his shapely bottom into the face of Eminem at the MTV Music Awards? Well a producer kindly forwarded me the Vindaba brochure sent out by WOSA and it seems he is now consulting on language skills!
A big thumbs up for Vindaba
If I was judging a competition where the rules were clearly being flouted, what would I do? This was the situation for those judging the Michelangelo International Wine Awards last year. There was clearly much discussion among the palates and after hearing disturbing rumours, I contacted several Solomons and was rewarded with a catalogue of alleged irregularities, some of which I’ve blogged about ad nauseum on this site. I was also generously vouchsafed a get-out-of-jail-free card as one judge said “Please do not use my name, although if they sue you or something, I will stand up for you.”
When the Iranians threatened to close the Straits of Hormuz last month, the French didn’t mess around. They sent the La Motte-Picquet, an F70 type anti-submarine frigate of the French Marine Nationale, off to Hormuz to wave the flag. Sending a vessel which shares a name with famous Franschhoek wine estate La Motte is a double insult, as wine is haraam for followers of the Prophet.
La Motte the ship
The last time I saw Miles Mossop was at the SAA wine list awards in October and so bumping into him at the penthouse party of Karl Lambour on Saturday night, reminded me that airlines are perfect customers for wine producers. They pay on time and not on final demand, like many restaurateurs. And with Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner made from carbon fibre now whispering its way among the clouds, one of the less obvious advantages are that cabin pressures will be higher (1800m altitude equivalent instead of 2400m) and more fresh air provides an environment closer to a terrestrial tasting room. And what a view!
The Mining Indaba kicks off tomorrow in Cape Town and the array of private jets at CPT International makes Davos look like Dinwiddie, Germiston. With 6,500 delegates at $2000 a pop, someone is making serious loot out of this event. That Nobu at the One&Only is opening for lunch this week, confirms that hard-pressed Cape Town hoteliers are cashing in on the mining boom, big time. For camp followers will swell the 6,500 tally to well over 10K. Last night, Nobu was turning over tables three times as the big boys maintain the sushi quality is the same as London, but at a fraction of the price.
“Johannesburg is about people. Cape Town is about place” was the parting shot of Hylton Appelbaum as the 44th birthday party of the Cape’s towering winemaker Karl Lambour broke up in the early hours of this morning. So where did that giant illuminated billboard of Ninja (front man of rof rappers Die Antwoord) on Kloof Street come from? Karl’s bash was held in suite 612, the penthouse of 15 on Orange and the nighttime skyline under Table Mountain was ruined by a scowling skollie who looks like an “after” ad for a harelip procedure.
Do you need a license to make love? A diploma to become a dad? A certificate to call yourself a chef? Authority to become an artist? So why is the world of wine so obsessed with “qualifications?” Heck many of the Cape’s best winemakers like Arco Laarman (Glen Carlou) and Johan Kruger (Sterhuis) are self-taught and exactly what vinous qualifications do commentators like John Platter and Michael Fridjhon have?
Yet the battle for the big bucks of wine learners has been joined. In the red corner, former wine bar proprietor turned vinous wordsmith Cathy Marston is offering WSET courses which she tweets are the only qualifications with international recognition. In the white corner, the Cape Wine Academy offers various diplomas with the Cape Wine Master ticket, top of the pops.
Artist and winelover Luan Nel and CWA Principal Marilyn Cooper at the 2011 Soweto Wine Festival
