The name of the dish is so punny, you expect to hear the naughty laugh of Charles Back in the background: Boerebaisse. A kiss from a Boer (in this case virile Morné Vrey from Delaire Graff on the Simonsberg) and a homophone of Bouillabaisse, the classic French fish soup. Leave out an “s” and it becomes saucy: sex with a Boer. Either spelling, it was a pretty unforgettable experience and the best potjie by a country mile at yesterday’s Paardeberg/Simonsberg annual potjie cook-off held at Muratie, the most authentic and atmospheric wine farm in SA. As one contestant asked Muratie matriarch Annatjie Melck “are the cobwebs real?”

Muratie matriarch Annatjie Melck

WOSA, wines of SA, the exporters’ mouthpiece, confirmed with their recent braai book (or “braii” as Canadian food bloggers GoodFoodRevolution misspell it) Cape Wine Braai Masters, some winos would like to claim cooking over an open fire as defining Cape culinary character. Of course ugly Cape provincialism should rather be replaced with a national possessive adjective to accommodate the huge volumes of wine grown on the Groot Gariep – and all sold out, according to potjie judge Emile Joubert, the most experienced in the business after sampling well over 100 pots at a Franschhoek festival.

Potjie Professor Emile Joubert

But when interviewed by GoodFoodRevolution, culinary consultant to the project and WOSA communications director, jolly André Morgenthal, struggled to define exactly what made cooking over an open fire uniquely Cape. He settled for “controlling the heat” but searching for anecdotes about people cooking pasta on open fires doesn’t really convince. Italians did it in the interregnum between Marco Polo bringing the stuff back from China and before Fratelli Onofri launched their iconic cooking ranges.

Better to have concentrated on potjies which are far more authentic and besides, the annual Paardeberg/Simonsberg potjie cookoff is no PR stunt. There are no press releases and the usual gaggle of freeloading journos who pitch up, eat the food, drink the wine, crack a few jokes and then don’t write about the function, are absent. As thankfully were the self-appointed imbongis of the Paardeberg with their Fu Manchu whispy facial topiary and high VA personalities – and I’m talking about the female ones here – all busy frantically visualizing the next edition of their discredited wine guide, no doubt.

The potjie tournament is rather the spontaneous product of friendship between two gangs of winemakers. If Leonard Bernstein was still alive, this would make a wonderful vinous remake of Westside Story. The Simonsberg Sharks and the Jets, gangs that just so happen to include some of the most famous winemakers in South Africa: Willie de Waal and Eben Sadie, Callie Louw and Adi Badenhorst – the mutton chop magician was in the USA and so missed the match. And that stellar lineup is just the Jets.

Hannes Aucamp, dressed as a crocodile (his potjie was called croc-au-vin and tasted like chicken), won the first potjie challenge a few years ago for the Jets but has now abandoned Oude Denneboom where he made some of the best value for money old vine Chenin Blanc in the country, unforgivably overlooked by the Chenin Blanc Producers Association when they chose a list of their own eight wines for André to present in Washington DC last month. His new berth is with the Sharks at Babylon’s Toren where Naspers nabob Koos Bekker is recreating the gardens of Versailles with large back actors and many black actors.

Hannes Crocodile

Eben and Willie decided to “keep it clean” (unlike their wines, sometimes criticized as too oxidative and with high VA’s by “shallow” blind tasters) and pulled a Paardeberg rabbit out their capacious hats – or berets to be pedantic. Hare cooked in white wine (the awe inspiring Scali white 2006) spiced up with bouquet garni.

Eben and Willi

Another Paardeberg pot featured sourdough naan bread baked by a trans-baker while Callie’s oxtail on pap was well-matched with Tassenberg served in low carbon footprint plastic beakers. “The bottle was bought on the Paardeberg and so contains a lot of Cinsault” he explained. And his braai roasted leeks are worth a whole book from André.

Callie unscrews the Tassies

Julian Johnson from Vondeling was the only virgin around and made a tagine according to a recipe vouchsafed by Cheryl Roux, Zimbabwean wife of Albert of Le Gavroche fame. And it showed: delicate notes of ginger, a hint of garlic and a surfeit of prunes to keep the judges regular.

But the winning potjie was in a class of its own. Morné started off with a lesson in molecular gastronomy, whipping up a pastis palate cleanser with some dry ice and lots of vigorous agitation. A showman-like prelude to his Boerebaisse made from crayfish heads and lots of saffron with most of the WWF SASSI database as ingredients: mussels, butterfish, prawns and monkfish. As we were tasting sighted, this was no shallow catch and all three judges gave this pot a unanimous 19/20. Accusations that the judges were slipped a couple of diamonds from Delaire owner Laurence Graff (the king of diamonds) as aperitifs were rejected with the contempt they deserve.

Sex God Morné Vrey

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