Franschhoek, “a sunny place for shady people” to quote Somerset Maugham on Monaco (the domicile of one of Franschhoek’s erstwhile shady specialists Count Rocky Agusta) was victim of a characteristically sloppy slander on the Grape part-time blog last week. I polled a few F’Hoek personalities but there was no energy for a counterattack, the Hoekers happy to continue surfing in Hermanus or whatever it is people do there that causes traffic backups all the way to Onrus. Besides, heavyweights like veteran foodie Myrna Robins pulled in to correct some of the typical economies of truth. But when Dana Buys of Vrede en Lust fame started his defense of his appellation with a drive-by shooting of SA wine writers “Seems like most wine journo’s only write nice things about the Swartland and Paardeberg these days” my mouse rushed to his pad and started tweeting.

Storm in Franschhoek

While it is true that I own a modest farm Lemoenfontein on the Paardeberg, am I part of the “most” that double as a PR agency for Swartland wine? Ironically my last Sidebar in the Sunday Times featured Franschhoek (Boekenhoutskloof) while my last blog posting on wine featured… Franschhoek (Rupert & Rothschild). Guilty as charged for blogging about the restaurants of Riebeek-Kasteel as they’re the closest to Lemoenfontein. And as for my writing about Swartland wines recently, it’s been in reaction to UK pundits like Jancis Robinson and her irritating habit of featuring them in her many Christmas laundry lists. A habit no-doubt encouraged by the elevation of Eben Sadie’s Swartland operation to Winery of the Year in the sighted wine guide dominated by the terrible trio running Grape.

I have my own psychosexual theories about why the pips at Grape are enthralled by a couple of Swartland winemakers but in the meantime, I’ll finish writing up the first Sunday Times Q&A for 2010 which features a winemaker from… Franschhoek! The son of a friend went wine tasting at a co-op in the Swartland earlier this month. The winemaker who presented the cellar tour and tasting explained that quality was not a factor in their production, quantity was what was important. The wines were awful and none of them ready to drink.

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