Proposed media pledge of allegiance

In the spirit of nation-building, I offer this draft pledge of allegiance to be recited by journalists before work every morning:

I pledge allegiance to the ANC’s media tribunal, which is the final arbiter on what may or may not be written in the interests of nation-building.
I pledge to honour Jacob Zuma’s instruction that nothing “hurtful” be written about corrupt, money-grabbing low-lifes when they break the law.
I pledge allegiance to the over-protective defamation laws which molly-coddle our public office bearers and protect them from scrutiny.
And, oh ja, almost forgot, I pledge allegiance to the constitution which somewhere, somehow still apparently allows me freedom of expression. I think.