I have just got my hands on this secret recording of Peter de Villiers talking to the Bokke at half-time on Saturday. Here is a transcript:

When you go to the game reserve, you expect to see a lion. Today we have been to fifteen game reserves and we know we have seen a lot of lions. It’s like they are lions that are also mechanics. Because they are tinkering with our spark plugs to make us backfire. But if we wanted to backfire, we would not fix our timing. So we won’t. (Muttering from Bok players in background)
Now we have just forty minutes to fix this minibus taxi. Because there are fifteen very lucky people riding on this taxi. Do you know how many people are waiting at the taxi rank to get onto this taxi? And I’m not even talking about the people in cars.
You know when Barabbas wanted to go into a pub, he didn’t ask Jesus to take him there. He walked in and said: “Make it a double”. He didn’t get a drink because he was a criminal. But he was proud.
That’s what we have to do. We have to walk onto that field just like Nelson Mandela walked off Robben Island all the way to Cape Town. Water or no water. And we must make it a triple. But we musn’t be like Barabbas. That actor Al Capone said it like this in Any Given Sunday: “There are only mos a few inches between winning and losing”.
Like the inches between the boot and the touchline. You must watch out, they have cameras everywhere and there are referees sitting up in the stands like vultures waiting to criticise us.
So what I’m saying is you must start behaving like game keepers in the game reserve. Not like tourists with fancy cameras. Let’s go backfire at them! (Murmurs in background)
Matfield: Er … coach, you’ve been standing on my foot.
I am now forced to add the following rider: The above is satire! Didn’t happen!

Related posts:

  1. Peter de Villiers really deserves MAJOR credit for the Bok victory
  2. Things Springbok coach Peter de Villiers might say
  3. Craig Dowd must apologise to Peter de Villiers over Springboks
  4. It’s time we cheered our great Bok coach, Peter de Villiers
  5. Boks going to Soweto on Saturday: Sense has prevailed

 


Comments

 

Chris Roper

July 6, 2009 at 5:02 pm

I don’t know what’s real and what’s fantasy anymore. Ray, you’re like that crazy caterpillar on the toadstool in Alice in Wonderland. Seriously.
I need a drink.

 

henno

July 6, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Make it a triple…

 

Rondebosch resident

July 16, 2009 at 9:21 pm

I say, hire Andre Markgraaf again, pick and all white team, scrap the first part of the anthem (we don’t sing it anyway), show the games on Kyknet, and we’ll all be happy.



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